Enticer- da fuck

Good evening chums,

Well, the results are in, and my bike leg of the corporate tri was 58. something minutes, i.e. less than the hour.  And all that with two vomit breaks. RESULT 🙂 I’m happy with that, and I suppose that meets a goal….. I really wanted under an hour..

So, since then, I have been training and getting strong and training and shit.  And then, my coaches (my coach Craig, his wife Vicki and my husband, Inspector gadget) have decided that I need to do the Inticer tri this weekend.  Thats 150m swim, 10km bike and 1.5km run.

Da absolute fuck…… Many reasons why not.

  1. I have never swam in open water.  Its only 150m, so the distance is not a drama, but the head in the croc infested water is a big deal- as is the fact I cant do the freestyle shizzle.
  2. I have never ridden after a swim. – probs not a drama if the crocs dont get me
  3. I have never run off the bike. So, apparently this is a big deal, and since the last effort left me unable to get of the fucking bike, never mind run thereof, I’m fucked.
  4. Back to the swim, Im not going to freestyle.  Big Nang freestyle will be just getting it done without the head in the water…..Breasting stroke for me. Head up, granny like, and fuck the world 🙂
  5. The run is up a hill. Coach says I can walk it, but – really, with my competitive head. Thats not gunna happen. I shall probs do a hammy on the first 20m.
  6. Its also down a hill, which could fuck a knee or two, or just make me feel better because my shuffle will perhaps resemble a jog. (visualizes trotting through the finish like a young gizelle- then pisses self laughing at the visual….)
  7. Im a lazy cunt.
  8. I’d rather not bother
  9. I’m shamed to come last
  10. referring to (9) – I reckon that if I lurk around the waters and shit, peeps viewing might mistake me for a sprint distance athlete. In other words, I may not actually finish last.

So, thats it, shitting copious pants, yet again, and wondering why I didnt take up fucking knitting……….

Alarm set for crow pish (so early the birds are only contemplating their toileting) and bike ready on trainer for a mega sesh.

Wish me luck, and I’ll keep you all informed of progress.

Talk soon,BN xxx

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