Someone’s got to be last.

Evening chums,

Today I completed my first Triathlon.  Just an enticer distance, but I did it. Can’t say it was as enjoyable as I had anticipated, but its done.

The swim was in the lake, in which some kids told us just before the race had a nearby crocodile (no joke, but only a “freshie” so no danger).  The lake water is also nasty and green and sludgy, with big weeds.I mean Harry Potter type tendrils that threaten to come up and suck you into the water.

I near shit my tri suit. Got into the water, started swimming and the weeds took over.  I had already planned to breaststroke the distance because I didn’t want additional stress of breathing etc, but when the weeds hit, I couldn’t fucking breathe anyway.  It was only 300m, so should have been easy, but I coudn’t get my breath, struggled really badly and was last out of the water. My beautiful coach had entere to support her son, whose first tri this was too, and ended up swimming, looking back at us stragglers, trying to help us out.  There was also a lovely lady on a paddle board, who stayed with me the whole way.  I think she thought I might actually drown!! So did I when the tendrils of the weed tried to pull me under.

Transition was good, I had all my shit set out, and did it all properly like I had practiced.  and off I went on the bike, my favourite.

Well, even that was a struggle – I still was gasping for air, with a killer headache, and it wasn’t until half way that I even felt normal. My head was telling me “what the fuck are you doing her” and “Julia Creek can go and get fucked”

Then, when I settled, I powered on through the ride, and actually passed a couple of people, and really quite enjoyed it.

Transition was good, I got off the bike unaided, and walked it back in.  But – when I tried to run, no fucking way were my legs doing it.  It was uphill, but I really couldn’t do it. Poor coach was there trying to get me to do small intervals, but it wasn’t happening. My legs were like jelly, and I couldn’t breathe.  So I walked most of it, and got overtaken by those I had passed earlier.

So chums, someone had to be last, and it was me.

I am pissed of at myself, because I was last, and am desperately trying to pull myself from the quitting notions that are upon me.

SO here is the list of positives to help me:

I swam through killer weed infested waters

I swam in deep water, which freaks me and I don’t do.

I swam in a lake, which I have never done before

I did a pretty smooth transition

The bike leg went really well, and apart from trouble breathing, I had no bother

I finished the race

I am 54 years of age, and 6 months ago could not have contemplated doing even one of those legs

Someone had to come last.

Thats all for now, while I contemplate my athletic future.

 

Talk soon,

BNxx

 

 

Tri, Tri Tri again

Evening all,

This was to be a triathlon training update, but……I can say “evening all” now because I have gone viral.  Well, viral for me, one visitor.  Thank you, whoever you are for visiting, and making my entire year thus far.  ONE VISIT. Fucking YAY!! Hope you are staying tuned, because its just me and thee…..

Anyhoo, back at Dirty Dusty triathlon training HQ (any other new folk may need to rewind and realise that despite the witty repartee, there is a serious (Feck) triathlon training shizzle happening behind all this humour and all round lovely blogness.

Today was this

Every time I do this, I fail miserably. Well, only at the freestyle head turning and not drowning thang. I can do the breasting stroke beautifully, but slowly, and have real trouble breathing with the crawling malarky. SO I came home all pissed off and unsure of whether I will even continue etc etc.

But do you know what chums?  This time I wont give up.  I reckon its going to be a bit like this

Loads of people and weedy, dirty, nasty water, where no one will notice me breast stroking slowly along.

I’m doing this for me.  Not a medal, not to win. For me.  Just to finish and the accomplishment of something huge. So I’m not getting disheartened, just carrying on with the training.

And the feckers had best be getting out of my way when I get on the bike. Seriously, I will run over them. It shall be my best leg, and I will go like the clappers of shite to make up time 🙂

In other news, I have been cooking up a storm of healthy foods today, and will continue tomorrow.  Will take some self indulgent photos to show you all (well, just the one of you). Its back to work on Monday, so need to be prepared.

So, all in all, another great day, except for the swimmings, but nothing that can’t be fixed.  Off to beds now, one more day of holidays, and hopefully a big ride on the bike.

Talk soon,

Take care,BN xx

Swings and roundabouts

Its been a bit up and down for the past week, swings and roundabouts sort of sums it up.

swings

Wish my arse would fit into them swings, but….moving along……

So the fitness is now at week six.  The hill climbs are still fucking me over and I haven’t yet got to the top of one without near dying.

But, on Sunday, I had a brilliant day.  My trainers offered a free lesson on the bike, which was just brilliant.  Now the last time I was on a bike on the road was 1984. And I wasn’t a fan then.

Started off shite, but it was really like riding a bike, and soon I stopped wobbling and got on rather well. Except for the turning corners, which were’t great.

Then after some drills and several people falling off- we went out for a ride along the road.  Nearly shit my copious pants when a huge truck overtook us, and I didn’t even hear it coming.

I was flying along with the others, and having a lovely time, but got  a flat tyre that couldn’t be fixed so had to be rescued by car. But all in all, considering the 30 plus year gap in my cycling career, it was rather good.

Next day, the old missy bum was numb, and sitting was very tentative, but all in all I was chuffed with my return to the peleton. (or whatever its called)

So off I trotted to the swimming session next day, all full of my new triathlon career, and how I am going to ace the Dirt n Dust in April.

Roundabout moment. Swimming was shite.  Apparently everyone in Australia can swim like fuck, all glydie and freestyle and shit. Effortlessly skiting up and down, with hardly a splash.  And here’s me, struggling with the nanna breaststroke, head slightly in the water, inhaling most of the pool, and refusing to give in. So we raced in teams.  poor bastards that had me…. we were last.  It was awful.  Tragic even. So I came home completely deflated and rethinking the tri.

Todays session has lightened my spirits a bit. Weights, which I love, but the swimming is still in my head, and needs some serious work.  swim

How fucking hard can it be to do this. Even when your scared of water……….

Im not letting it beat me.  Onwards and upwards.

Talk soon,

BN x

Water water everywhere

My swim training with the lovely French man on the interwebs is progressing well. I could watch him for hours, so I’m studying really hard. Practical application of his advice, however – not so hot.
I wonder can you do a triathalon with floaties?? I can see it now. I could market some flash Nike floaties, with perhaps matching vest with additional optional buoyancy aids for open water swims. I’d be dead cool and all athletic n shit.
So anyhoo, I was in our pool yesterday for the first time this summer because it was 40 degrees and boiling hot. I had me new cap and goggles on (probs looked like a dick) and in I hopped.
Nice man said, just push off put your head in and blow ze boobles. I had a panic attack. spluttered that much I’m sure the neighbours thought I was drowning.
But, several goes later, I managed to blow ze boobles and kick ze legs and my head was fully under the water. I did use a float, but you can expect miracles the first time.
Got water in me ears, and was very unsettled, but I did it. I also watched another you tubing film about relaxing in the water and turning ones arse from side to side. Well, that was a debacle, large woman in silly hat and goggles, quoting a french man lolloping from side to side in ze pool, all the time thinking about drowning.
So I spoke to my coach tonight about it. She just did the Noosa triathlon yesterday, and is my absolute hero. Such a lovely, kind person, who took the time to guide me, even though there were others there, for a group session.
Her advice was to write down two things I dont like about water, and two things I do like, and to shift my thinking from the bad things to the good things.
So, here tis:
Dont likes.
1. its claustrophobic when your surrounded by the water
2. It goes in your ears and wont come out
3. it goes up your nose and feels nasty.
(ok that was 3, but we are talking phobia here)
and – I think I wont be able to breathe and will choke on the water and drown. Nothing dramatic or anything……..
Do likes.
1. Its cool in summer
2. its nice to be buoyant and to float and feel the water lift you up
3.I like the feeling of moving through the water (with head up) the way the water feels on your hands and against your legs and feet.
4. It will help me get my goal of a triathlon.
Four – see, this stuff is good 🙂
So now I will concentrate on thinking about the good stuff, forget the bad stuff, and buy a cheap snorkel. That was her next idea, swim with head in water but with snorkel. Look out neighbours, the best is yet to come……….

swim

Talk soon,

BN x